Over the past year, we have seen the Lord moving our family in a new and honestly quite unexpected direction. It started with a good friend who began the process to adopt a little girl from China. Her interest sparked mine, and I began to do some research online about orphans world wide and right here in the United States. There were a few sites like the
Texas Foster and Adoption website and others that just broke my heart. At first that is where it stopped. Just a sadness that so many children were in need of someone to love them--even if just while their parents got some things straight.
I remember laying in bed one night after I had been pouring over these websites, seeing children who have had the very people who were supposed to love and protect them do just the opposite. I felt the Lord whisper in my heart, "What if I called you to love them?" It was not even a "You must do this", but just a "What if?" My first instinctive reaction to even the idea was plain old fear. I loved my family. I have a very happy marriage, and a delightful daughter. I was not unaware that a child who had come from a "hard place" would not necessarily be an easy addition to my family.I was fearful that I didn't have any "control" over my family.
Finally, I just came to the very real conclusion that I am not and have never been in control of my family. It is true the Lord has blessed me IMMENSELY. Is that because of even one ounce of my own doing, or is anything but God's grace? I know it is only GRACE. And I thought of what Jesus said in
Mark 8, "
Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" I could hear the Lord's warning that I am foolish if I think I have the power hold on to the blessing of my family. And that to be disobedient to Him to "protect" my family would be the single most dangerous thing I could ever do to them. It was given by Him, and it will always belong to Him. Jesus clearly commands that we are not to love our family more than Him (
Matthew 10:37,38). It was time for me to be willing to lay down that sinful attitude be willing to follow wherever He wanted to lead us.
And that is where it stopped for a while. There was no immediate revelation that becoming foster parents is what is what we should do. Matt and I talked about it some more and he discovered there was a Foster/Adopt agency right in Spring that lined up with the things that we believe. Arrow Child and Family Ministries was having some Orientation classes and we decided to check them out--just to find out some more information. That was last December. Since then, we have taken things one very slow and prayerful step at a time. Those steps have led us to be licensed for Foster Care. For now, we are planning to take one child younger than Anna. We will be open to receiving placements at the beginning of the new year. It might be the next day, or it might be several months before a child is placed in our home.
We have learned so much through books and seminars in the last year as the Lord has been preparing us, and we realize we have SO MUCH more to learn. We are excited, a bit nervous, and a myriad of other feelings. However, we do know that God is calling us to DO something rather than just be sad about the tragic situation that so many children find themselves in. We will continue to take things one step at a time and trust in the Lord's GOODNESS and GRACE.
